if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
