I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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