People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
