Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bet he comes in French.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
