It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
