Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
