I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
