Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize