I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I AM VODKA MAN
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
