I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
