Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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