just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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