Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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