Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
