I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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