I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
