they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
