He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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