You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
