I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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