Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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