we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
