matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize