She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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