Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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