i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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