i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
