I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
