eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
