moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
