i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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