It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
