It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
