How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
