Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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