i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
