Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
