They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
