Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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