This is not my ceiling
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
