This girl is more easily done than said...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
