she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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