This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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