considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So squirting runs in the family.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
