What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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