it's too hot outside to masturbate.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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