You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
