as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
