just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
