dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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