We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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