You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
