My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
