How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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